Hidden cameras

There's hidden cameras at my supermarket. There must be. I can't think of any other reason for their behaviour.

They are systematically removing all my favourite brands... and then filming my reaction.

First, they kept having specials on 1kg Mainland Tasty cheese, and in a house that can plough thru a kilo of cheese a week, that's a welcome thing... only... the shelf with the special sign was always empty: a cheese special with no cheese. They did that for three weeks in a row to film my reaction and since I have to buy food at least three times a week, I bet they got a lot of footage. Then they removed the sign... but still no Mainland Tasty. Just a space where cheese once was. More footage. And I don't want any other kind of tasteless kiddy cheese. I pick them up, they look insipid, watery, I put them down. More footage.

I do the same when I get to the smoked salmon section. If it's not at least 220g, it's pointless purchasing it. And the shelves that used to contain packages over 100g... are mysteriously empty. More footage.

The bacon section. Little Chef products, no liquid to boil out of the bacon and ruin the dish. Superior product... gone. What remains? Insipid, watery, fatty. I pick them up, I put them down. More footage.

The sauces and salad dressing section? That weight watchers balsamic was top stuff. The Aussie produced gormet sauces and salad dressings - great. The vietnamese dipping sauce imported from Thailand - perfect for so many things. Gone. All gone. What remains, Kraft, Praise, Masterfoods, Select, and for some bizarre reason Paul Newman. Now I can't tell the difference between Kraft, Praise, Masterfoods or Select. The first ingredient in all those products is sugar, and surely only a British primary school chef would start out making a sauce or salad dressing that way! And Paul Newman... how fat is he? Because his salad dressings seem to consist of straight oil. Definitely some footage there.

Generally as the supermarket brands increase, all the other brands decrease... and who remains? Kraft, Praise, Masterfoods. How is that a choice? I swear they all come from the same factory!

Dick Smith peanut butter no longer comes in large jars. I have to buy multiples... because there's just something wrong with Kraft (and I'm not saying that because they poisoned all those kids with peanut butter in 95). Insipid, sugary... and what's that? A supermarket brand? Did that come out of the Kraft factory? More footage.

Now the soap and shampoo aisle. I've saved this till last. This is where things get blatantly ridiculous. And it's not all the Supermarket's fault this time. Mostly it's the manufacturers' fault.

People in my family are allergic to Methylchloroisothiazolinone AND Methylisothiazolinone. Easy to spot with long names like this. They are preservatives. They are there to stop your soap, hand soap or shampoo going rancid. They are incredibly nasty incredibly strong preservatives. They are usually last on your list of ingredients. If you have any skin irritations from using soaps or shampoos I can almost guarantee it is from these preservatives.

Now I don't mind that manufacturing companies use this product in their shampoos or soaps (altho the products that use other presevatives are generally cheaper). I'm resigned to reading the incredients on every product I purchase. What I OBJECT to is picking up products labelled "Organic" or "Natural" or "For Sensitive Skin" or "Low Irritant for Kids" and seeing this preservative in the ingredients!

Are they trying to tell me there are Methylchloroisothiazolinone and Methylisothiazolinone trees out there, growing in the wild, waiting to be harvested for organic soaps and shampoos? And if you already have sensitive skin, this is the LAST kind of preservative you should be letting near it! What are they doing, setting up a clientelle of super sensitive skin owners to buy more of their products?

Oh. My. God. The range of stunned expressions they must have recorded of me by now! Oh the footage from that aisle! Pick up, read, slam down, pick up read, slam down, pick up read, slam down... I do around 40 products by the time I've found a handsoap, and a couple of kinds of shampoo. I pride myself on my ability to speed read ingredients and manhandle bottles... but oh the footage!

Honestly, it's wrong. It might even be more wrong than supermarket brands pushing out decent brands... at least that only hurts your taste buds. And when you buy Kraft/Praise/Masterfoods/a supermarket brand, you're expecting sugary dullsville. When you buy a shampoo with the above labels on it that still contains these preservatives you're being misled and you may end up with a nasty rash.

I hate supermarkets. I spend around $450 a week on food. The supermarket gets less than 40% of that, I'll go to deli's, butchers, fruit and veg shops, bakeries, asian importers, nut shops, anywhere to buy the rest because I'm SO FED UP WITH THE HIDDEN CAMERAS!